Five (Increasingly Unhinged) Fitness Mantras You Haven’t Heard A Million Times

I’m going to be sore anyway

For those moments during your workout when your muscles are burning, you’re out of breath, and you don’t think you can muster another rep, remind yourself that the damage is already done. You’re going to be sore and tired anyway. You might as well make it worth your while.

At least I’m not trapped on an airplane.

Pretend you’ve been trapped in an economy seat for 10 hours. You’ve been dying to straighten your legs, but your ticket didn’t come with a carry-on bag so your suitcase is stuffed under the seat in front of you. You’re finally off the flight and it feels incredible to move your body.

I spend all day working for someone else. This is my time to work for myself.

This one is for those corporate peeps. We can’t control what happens at work or in our love lives. Layoffs happen, breakups happen, friends come and go, but nobody can take away your fitness gains.

My body evolved from single-celled organisms to do what I’m doing now. I owe it to the universe to see how far it can get me.

This one is a little nerdy-sciencey. But it’s true. We didn’t evolve over millions of years to sit around and do nothing. Your body is your greatest tool. Be good to it and it will be good to you.

Society is collapsing and the world is basically ending, so I better get strong now so I can (try to) outrun the AI robots.

It’s dark, but motivating. Tap into your inner prepper. Think of your workout as an apocalypse bootcamp.